I'm feeling the orchestrations of Higher Mind more and more lately as I took July's break off from my Practice. A month long vacation, the longest break ever since I began back in 2018, and praise the lord! It is a Renewal. It is the Descent into the Underworld and the Feminine to Retreat then Discover the newest breadcrumbs to follow.
The heat finally broke so this morning was a cool late 60 degrees and I have some Nostalgia Synthwave playing as I type this entry.
(15:24 hello meteor - Cascade Nights is my favorite song in this video)
Yesterday, I listened to a Part 2 episode of The Cosmic Matrix podcast on their membership side. I love to pay for a month to binge the part 2 episodes that I haven't heard since my last monthly membership. Sparing $11 for their great content is nothing since I'd gladly spend hundreds of dollars because that podcast helped me through dark times. The hosts are incredibly insightful and knowledgable while also doing their great work as psycho-spiritual coaches.
I listened to Part 2 of "How To Live A More Authentic Life" and I highly recommend you check out this podcast if you feel the call. I realized that a lot of my strategies in life are of avoidance. Not avoiding the work that I need to do in my daily life, root chakra needs, and in my relationship. But...an Avoidance when it comes to my Practice pertaining to the Outer World.
I try to understand why I move through many blocks that I feel like are superimposed inside my being when it comes to sharing myself and my work to the world in a more broader stroke kind of way rather than just my website. I allow myself to feel and to process the very real emotional responses to the dominant paradigms consistently attacking the Sacred Intuitive Arts as well as the disgusting presentation of false-psychism by the parades on social media. The disgust feeling isn't of my Ego. It is just my Heart feeling so hurt to see what has become of this magnificent Artistry and Science that is reduced to love bombing, nonsensical and nonexistent information, as well as just blatant stupidity.
Now there comes the need for me to Reflect on if I am consumed by the Victim/Blame Trap. On some levels....absolutely yes. I battle with Higher Mind while declaring my anger that this work is something that I never "chose" to do, but it is something I just am skilled at. Then I see the Avoidance Strategy. To block out all social media while trying to sort through my actual and honest distaste for social media coupled with the tool that social media is. But then I reflect on how I never once got any clients from social media or podcasting or YouTube. It has always been Word of Mouth or someone finding my website.
I check into see if I am living Authentically which is probably why I was drawn to listen to that episode. I feel like I'd be very different if I never followed the breadcrumbs from Higher Mind to explore and to develop Psychism.
But there was a lot of pain associated with following this path. A lot. Destroyed relationships. Verbal attacks. Trigger wounding from childhood immensely exacerbated by the dominant paradigm suffocating our species/Collective.
But...at the same time of all of this reckoning...I fucking love this work.
Watching Six Feet Under this summer and just reflecting on the work I've done since 2018 has led me to appreciate the many years of solitude, study, and development while also practicing with real clients and not social media dots on a screen.
It has been a journey and throughout all of the pain, heartache, tears, frustration, anger, and more...I truly have been living an Authentic Life and there are new ways that I can enhance my Authentic Living.
Maybe you should check out Part 1 of The Cosmic Matrix podcast since their work greatly enhanced my life.